OPEN THE DOOR, RICHARD!

Open the door, Richard
Open the door and let me in
Open the door, Richard
Richard, why don't you open that door

I met old Zeke standin' on the corner the other day
That cat sure was booted with the liqour
(He was what?)
He was abnoxicated
(He was what?)
He was inebriated
(He was what?)
Well, he was just plain drunk
(Well, alright then!)

He was sure salty with the bartender
The bartender's tryin to make him by another drink
Zeke told the bartender, "There ain't no need of me buyin' no
drinks when everyone else is buyin them. I'm goin' to drink to
everybody's health, till I ruin my own"

Open the door, Richard!
Why don't he know who he's throwin outta that joint?
Why i'll go back in that joint and take a short stick and bust
it down to the ground!
Open the door, Richard!
But I hate to be caught out on the street like this cause I got
class I ain't never used yet
But I guess I better get on in the house 'cause I don't want
my Pastor to catch me out like this
Open the door, Richard!

Now look at that old woman across the street
Done stuck her head outta the window callin' her sister
Look at her and her sister sayin, "Ain't that him, ain't that him?"
Yes, it's me! And i'm drunk again!
Open the door, Richard!

I know he's in there 'cause I got on the clothes
They can't throw him out 'cause I owe just as much back rent as he
does
Imagine that old woman chargin' us three dollars a month and gettin'
mad cause we twelve months in the arears
Come meetin' me last Thursday sayin, "Ain't you boys goin to give
me some back rent?"
I told her she'd be lucky if she got some front rent
Open the door, Richard!

Come on, open the door
'Cause i'm standin' here scratchin' in my pants pocket
And standin' here gropin' in my coat pocket
And standin' here feelin' in my shirt pocket
And I can't find the key
Open the door, Richard!

Open the door, Richard
Open the door and let me in
Open the door, Richard
Richard, why don't you open that door